Certain Hope
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Set during FTBYAM. What if Sarah Blake is the waitress Sam runs into at the bar? Sarah is a hunter now. While they reunite Sam starts to go through withdrawl. Sarah tries to help but can Sam handle having her see his dark side? PLEASE REVIEW!


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Sorry for not being more loyal to my SPN stories :( I really did mean to update them, and still do...it's just I got sidetracked and obsessed with Criminal Minds and the character of Dr. Spencer Reid, my second favorite tv character now after Sam, and yeah...I kind of went crazy with CM fics for a while so yeah I am sorry guys! But this idea just wouldn't leave me! And it's been a while since I had an SPN story in my head!And I really love Sam/Sarah a LOT

Sam sighed as he looked at the new place he worked at. Peanut shells were spread out on the counter and most of the tables. Glasses half full were everywhere. The floor made sticky noises as he walked on it. He grimaced, wondering what kind of thrings were dropped on there the night before.

The owner looked up as he cleaned a glass.

"Not normally this messy. There was a bachelor party here last night though," he said in an almost apologetic tone. He had sandy hair and hazel eyes. Nice enough guy. One that Sam might have befriened long ago. Back when he didn't think he was cursed. But he had to stay away from people. It was for their own good.

"Sorry that you had to walk in on a mess like this on your first day," the man added. "Like I said, my place isn't normally this messy."

Sam gave a half smile.

"It's okay," he mumbled as he carried the dish tray and placed the empty glasses and plates in it. "I'm just grateful to have a job."

The owner smiled.

* * *

Sarah came out of the restroom. Her brown hair curled to her shoulders. Her jeans had holes in them and her boots were caked in mud. There was mud on the side of her shirt as well. She didn't have exactly time to change since her last hunt. Splashing water on her face in the bathroom was the best she could do at the moment. At least it was just a bar, and in the day time nontheless. Most of the people there were too drunk to really notice looks.

She waved at Gary, her boss. She liked Gary. One of the few decent guys she had run into. She stopped, though, when she turned the corner and stared at the back of the new guy who was bent over cleaning a table, a napkin placed over his shoulder. He was so familiar...The way his hair fell on the back of his neck...his plaid shirt...Could it really be...The man turned his face a little to the left and she gasped.

Sam. It was Sam. His soft kind eyes...his nose and his mouth that never seemed to smile. He looked completly different, older, bigger...but it was him. It was Sam Winchester.

She started to take a step backwards. Her first instinct was to run. She wasn't ready to see the man she had thought she would never see again.

But Gary stopped her.

"Sarah, could you grab some of those plates over on that table?"

She still kept staring at Sam.

"Sarah?"

Suddenly she snapped back into reality.

"What?" She asked, her voice a little breathless, a little shocked.

"Could you grab those plates over there?"

"Oh yes, of course," She mumbled.

* * *

Sam froze at the name Gary said.

_Sarah._

It couldn't be. Not Sarah Blake. Sarah was a common after all. It was just someone else...it would be impossible. What the hell would Sarah be doing here of all places after all? Slowly he turned.

And it was her. Just as he remembered. A little older and less innocence on her face but it was still the same Sarah Blake. She was busy cleaning a table a few feet away from him.

"Sarah," he said without meaning too. She looked up sharply and both stared at each other.

"You two know each other?" Gary asked as he noticed the exchange.

"Sam," she breathed. Her voice...it's been so long since he heard her voice. He never thought he'd see her again.

"Sam? I thought your name was Keith!"

Sarah winced. Obviously Sam was going under a different name.

"Sorry," she said as she coughed. "I thought I recoginzed him. He looks a lot like this Sam guy I once knew." Sam quickly lowered his gaze.

"I'm sorry too, you also looked familiar."

Gary frowned, obviously not convinced but he let it drop.

"I'm going out back for a few minutes," he muttered. For some reason he felt like he interrupted something.

Sam stepped closer to Sarah.

"Sarah, what are...you doing here?"

"I work here," she said. She tried to control the tremor in her voice. So many mixed emotions.

"No I mean what are you doing HERE, so far away from your home?"

"I'm here becuase I'm a hunter Sam."

Emotional pain radiated through Sam's body.

"What?"

His worst fear. Someone as innocent as Sarah Blake becoming a hunter.

She gave a small laugh.

"How could I not become one after the things I saw? How could I stand idly by when a person was mysteriously killed? I had to do something!"

"Who...taught you to do things?"

"Well you and Dean did help me out with some of the basics for ghost hunting at least while you were there. The rest I had to learn on my own, while running into other hunters here and there. I listened to stories. I did my research and learned to seperate fact from fiction."

Sam's breathing got intense. He suddenly noticed a cut on her leg.

"You're hurt." His voice was full of sorrow. He didn't want this life for her. Not when she had the choice.

She smiled and brushed off the injury.

"It's nothing."

"How'd you get it?"

She sighed, clearly uncomfortable.

"A vampire, all right?"

He closed his eyes.

"Don't act like that," she suddenly snapped, anger rising in her. He looked at her, surprised.

"Act like what?"

"You're acting like I'm a helpless little girl who can't defend herself. I see that pity in your eyes."

"What? No! The pity there isn't thinking you can't fight it's...I never wanted this life for you Sarah. I just feel like...you've made the wrong choice. I mean if I had a chioce of a normal life or a life of a hunter I'd pick normal in a heartbeat. I just don't want you dragged into this."

Sarah gave him a sad smile. No matter how different he changed he was still the same old Sam. Trying to protect everyone.

"Sam, you can't save everyone."

Sam scoffed.

"I'm begining to get that." Gary walked back in. She sighed.

"Look we'll talk later. There's a lot we have to discuss."

He smiled at that.

"A lot's an understandment."

"Like why you're here, without Dean."

He shifted his eyes. She knew there was a story behind him. A big one.

And she had a story too.

"Where are you staying at?" She mumbled to him. He gave her the card to the motel.

"Room 134," he told her. She nodded and as Gary glanced at them they quickly went back to work.

* * *

Sam paced back and forth. He could deny it all he wanted but it was happening. He couldn't get rid of the shakes, the chills...the sweating...He had already vomited in the bahthroom twice. He felt so weak. That was the part he hated the most. Feeling weak.

But he deserved this. He started the freaking apocolaypse.

He deserved everything that was happening. to him.

He curled into a corner and tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn't want Sarah to see him like this. And yet he desperatly needed contact with someone. He didn't want to feel so...alone all the time. He was so tired of feeling so alone.

"Sam?" The door knocked. "Sam? It's me, Sarah."

He couldn't move. He was too weak. He could barely stand.

He pressed his legs against his chest.

"Sam?" Panic was in Sarah's voice.

My God if she knew what he had become she would hate him so much. He burried his head in his legs.

_He deserved this. He deserved this. He deserved this._

"Sam?" He heard her picking the lock. "Sam, I'm coming in!"

So she learned that little trick as well.

Sarah pushed the door open and gasped as she saw Sam huddled in the corner, shaking and trembling violently and yet covered in sweat.

"Oh my God, Sam!" She rushed towards him. "Sam, look at me. Sam!" Sam slowly rose his tear stained face.

"Oh my God,"she repeated with tears in her eyes as she touched his cheek. "What happened to you?"

Sam shivered.

"Go away Sarah," he mumbled. "You don't want to see me like this."

Sarah had tears in her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said firmly. She felt like shaking herself as she wondered what had happened to the Sam Winchester she once knew.


End file.
